


A Confession

by TheDiceGuy



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-21 14:00:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18703744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDiceGuy/pseuds/TheDiceGuy
Summary: After a dangerous battle, one of the Nein lay slain and it is hard for the group. But an important confession comes out from the loss.





	A Confession

It had happened faster than anyone could have anticipated. Beau was distracted, trying to save Jester from one of demons that they had been hired to get rid of, and she hasn't noticed the claw going to wrap around her waist. She had died almost instantly. Her body hitting the ground broke everyone, and it hit them that they had to finish this fight. And finish it they do.  
Jester unleashed her most powerful Spiritual Weapon, the rest of the group knew it must have been incredibly hard for her because it wasn't her signature lollipop, and it just swings and swings and swings and swings while the tears stream down her face. 

“Jester. Jester it's dead.”  
“I DON’T CARE!”

Her sobs are racking her petite frame as she's bent over the still warm Beau, arms wrapped around her trying to squeeze the life back into her.  
The Nein gather around their fallen friend, some kneeling, others still in shock as the realization dawns on them. Caduceus kneels down and starts to reach out his hand towards Beau, which Jester smacks away. Possibly a bit harder than she intended to.

“Don't you dare Caduceus!”  
“Jester, you know that she's gone. Allow me to let the Earth remember her.”  
“But… Caduceus I can't just let her go..,” Jester gently brushes Beau’s hair out of her face, “I love her.”  
“I know you do Jester, it was pretty obvious,” a soft smile spreads on his gentle face as he rests a hand on her shoulder, “But you have to let her go, we can't bring her back. We don't have the supplies.”  
Caleb speaks up from the back, his voice cracking slightly, “What would you need? To bring her back?”

Caduceus and Jester look back at him, a look of curiosity on their faces.

“Well I have the general things, the incense and the candles and such, but uh Mr. Caleb, unless you can conjure about a diamond priced at about five hundred gold...”  
“Well…,” Caleb reaches into one of his inner coat pockets and pulls out a fist sized diamond that catches the light and shines brilliantly, “I always keep a rainy day fund...and today seems particularly rainy. I hope it's enough.”  
“I'm sure it will do Mr. Caleb,” he takes the offered gem and rests it on Beau's chest before beginning to rustle through his bag for the rest of the needed materials.   
Jester starts crying again, this time a shaky smile on her face as the tears spill down, “Caleb ohmygod thank you thank you thankyouthankyouthankyou,” she runs up to Caleb and wraps her arms around him, lifting him up a solid eight inches off of the ground and popping his back.  
“No problemo Jester, but uh, can you please not squeeze me so hard? My back isn't going to pop any more.”  
Jester lets out a small laugh and sets him back down, “I'm sorry Caleb, you know how I get when I'm really really happy.”  
“Ja ja, indeed I do.” He smiles and rests his dirty hand on Jester's shoulder. “You should probably be easy on Beau when she comes back, your hugs are pretty strong.”

Jester wipes her eyes and swallows the lump that keeps appearing into her throat, ready to break down at any moment. She gently rubs the holy symbol on her belt, trying to hear the comforting voice of her oldest friend.   
“Traveller...are you there? I really need you.”  
Nothing happens, no voice. No cloaked figure.  
“I guess you're busy. I understand just...I really need you. I'm barely holding it together and I just…” She stops as she feels a hand tuck some hair behind her ear and a voice softly whispers.  
“Jester. I know how hard this is. Don't worry my little seed of chaos, you'll get through this.”  
Looking up she doesn't see the figure, but she knows. She knows he's there, and it helps.   
“Thank you.”

After some time has passed, Caduceus calls out to the group. “Everyone come here please.”  
They quickly gather around the ritual circle, trying hard not to stare at the sight of Beau’s cold body.  
“The ritual is almost complete. Now..there's a good chance she will come back, but there is always the chance the spell could fail.”

The group remains silent, soaking in that information. 

“But, we can make it more likely to succeed by sacrificing valuable things.”  
“Uh Ducey, we aren't really floating in valuables.”  
Caduceus lets out a chuckle, “Mr. Fjord, there are things more valuable than wealth. Although that would also work for this.”  
“So what do we sacrifice then Mr. Clay?”  
“Well Nott, anything that is valuable to you. Whether that is money, a memory, just about anything really.”

Nott looks down and starts thinking, as do the rest of the Nein. The first to step up is Yasha.  
“If it isn't a physical thing, do we just think about it really hard? Or do we need to say it?”  
“I'm not quite sure Ms. Yasha. But you'll know if it works.”   
She scratches her chin and kneels down next to Beau, gently touching her arm.  
A small blur appears over Beau’s body, and a silent image appears, showing the group standing outside of the circus tent where their adventures together began. It shows Beau talking to Yasha, faking a limp before Yasha picks her up and carries her inside of the tent, and then it dissipates slowly swirling into a light green aura around the diamond on Beau's chest. Yasha steps back, a tear starting to roll down her stoic face.

“A touching memory Yasha. Who's next?”   
Caleb walks forward and and sits cross legged next to Beau. He closes his eyes and another image appears. It shows Caleb studying in a library, ten to twelve or maybe more books scattered around him, with an annoyed looking Beau standing about ten feet from him. He flips her a couple of thumbs up and a smile, which she returns with a middle finger. Caleb laughs and returns to his books just as the memory dissipates into a light orange aura that swirls and mixes with the green aura of Yasha’s memory.  
He stands up and takes a breath, a slight shake in it.  
“Nächster. Next?”  
Slowly each member of the Nein offer up memories of them and Beau, adding swirls of color to the diamond. Fjord offers a memory of himself and Beau talking on the deck of The Ball Eater. Nott offers a memory of her and Beau on Darktow, sneaking off into an Alley, which cuts off just in time. Caduceus’ memory is of him and Beau cooking, with Caduceus teaching her some tips to make it easier.  
Then it comes time for Jester to make a sacrifice.

“I can't offer a memory, I want to remember everything about Beau,” she sits above Beau’s head playing with hair. She sits for a minute staring at the now colorful gem, taking a deep breath. She pulls out her sketchbook and opens it up. Wordlessly she flips through it before turning it to the first page.  
“I'm sorry Traveller, I need her back. I hope this doesn't upset you.”

She rips out a page, which surprises the whole group. She ignores their stares and slowly goes through the book, ripping out any sketches of Beau and any pages that even remotely involve Beau. Her most valuable possessions. After a few minutes, she is holding most of her notebooks pages, easily at least thirty to forty of them. She closes the now nearly empty book, and gently rests the pages on top of Beau and watches as they slowly disappear into a bright blue light that is almost blinding.   
“I love you Beau… please come back to us…”

“Those were all very touching memories. Beau should be able to come back to us much more easily now,” Caduceus closes his eyes and gently places a large hand on the now prismatic gem and softly speaks. “Blessed Wild Mother, allow this soul to return to us so that she may continue to do good in this world. We offer up these sacrifices to ease her back into the mortal plane, please heed this call.”

As the Nein watches, they all see a faint shape of a large druidic woman, a large cascade of bright red hair that falls around Beau’s body. A soft whisper comes from seemingly every direction.  
“Your call has been heard, and the sacrifices noticed.”  
A sense of peace radiates from the woman, easing their sadness before fading away.  
“Thank you Wild Mother.”

As the words leave Caduceus’ mouth, the diamond slowly sinks into Beau’s chest, the color inside it start outlining her body. A moment passes. Then another. Then what feels like eternity passes as all of a sudden Beau shoots up gasping for air, fists swinging as she attempts to swing at an enemy that has already been beaten.  
“What the FUCK happened? Where's the bastard at?!”  
Jester starts crying and wraps yer arms around Beau’s waist,“Beau!!! You're back!”   
“What? I'm back?” she looks around and sees the almost burned out candles and her friends in a circle around her. “Oh fuck did I die?”  
“Yeah you did Beau, but you're back now and that's all that matters,” as Jester is sobbing, her face buried into her back.  
“Woah. That...well that explains a lot.” She grabs Jester’s hands, stunned into silence. 

The Nein all exhale and relax, seeing that the ritual worked and brought their friend back. Many of them hug Beau as well, or give her affection in some way before they all collapse and rest for the night. Soon only Beau and Jester are awake, with Beau still in Jester’s arms.

“I heard you, you know.”  
“Heard what Beau?”  
Beau turns around and rests her head on Jester’s, her face softening.  
“I heard you say that you love me.”  
Jester feels herself blush and she turns her eyes away, or tries to before Beau gently grabs her chin.  
“I...I love you too Jester. I should have told you before.. I was just..”  
“Scared.”  
“Yeah...terrified actually.”  
“Don't worry so was I...And when you..I thought that was it and I... I just…”  
“I feel you Jess...We'll just have to get better about that in the future ya know. Can't go around scared to tell someone you love them,” Beau laughs and Jester lets out a small giggle too.  
“I love you Beau.”  
“I love you too Jess.”

The two women sit there for hours, silently letting each other know how much they love each other as the night passes, eventually falling asleep in each others arms. Back together again, with their love confessed.


End file.
